TwilightCafé

here comes the rain again

Well, we made it through the storm alright. No one I know was hurt, and only a couple of people I know suffered any water damage. Present company included. I dropped my library book (Jim Butcher's latest, White Night) and my phone in the water. Of course I grabbed the book up first. And for those playing along at home, this is the third phone I've dropped in something. This time I couldn't get it replaced, so I bought a new phone last night. A cute little Katana. And because I couldn't get my old phone to turn on, I lost all my contacts and other information. The phone still has internet access, but the screen is much smaller than the Windows PC phone I had. The new phone, however, has GPS capability. I am debating turning it on.

Anyone else have any weather-related tales of woe or otherwise?

when's rush week?

I have now passed the second stage of the admission process. The School of Library Science has admitted me provisionally. I can go to school this semester as long as I get my GRE taken and the scores to them before the second semester. Only one problem. The classes I need to take are full. So I call the School of Graduate Studies, have them push my admission to the spring semester, and I go take my GRE in the meantime.

I'm still tickled pink about it all. :)

halfway there!

I'm in! Well, I have been accepted by the School of Graduate Studies. Now they have forwarded my application to the Dept of Library Sciences and they decide if I get in now or later or at all.

WHEEEEEEEE!!!

higher education here I come

I turned in all my applications for grad school. I don't know if I will be accepted in time to go this fall. If not, there's the spring. I'm very excited! Now I just wait to hear back.

In other changes, I started the South Beach diet a week ago. I didn't realize how hard it is to eat a certain way when you don't allow much time for anything. Breakfast sucks now. It used to be easy, a SlimFast and hop in the car. Now I have to find something like eggs or cottage cheese. I am not out of the induction period yet, but I realize also that what I thought was allowed in it isn't. Like the brisket I had for lunch yesterday, lean as it was. So I'll probably extend the induction another week. *sigh* At least I have lost some weight already and have had no pastas, breads, or other starches to speak of. That's a feat all on its own. Once I get past the induction I can add fruit and whole grains back in. Whole wheat pasta is so much better tasting in my opinion than the regular. Yum!

Happy Valentine's Day

It's been real busy around here between work and trying to fix up the house a bit. I am also still writing for the magazine and am working on getting into graduate school soon. STRESS! I haven't even gotten to read much lately, which is a crime in and of itself. :)

On the library track, I am looking into the possibility of specializing in sequential art cataloging and preservation. For the layman, it's a fancy way to say I'll collect comics. :) There are two universities with sequential art (comics) libraries, so there is precedent. Of course I probably won't get to exercise the specialty that much, but it's worth a shot. :)

are you being served?

In some ways it's like working at the skating rink again - accomodating others, helping them have a good time as unobtrusively as possible. Being there to help out, to guide and direct but then to leave alone. Today I taught a kid that Excel is a better spreadsheet than Word and about the joys of saving his work and being able to pull it back up when the software glitches, so he doesn't lose all the work he did.

Life is good.

working working working

True, true, I have been remiss in posting like I said I would. My schedule is such that I feel I don't have a lot of time to get online right now. However I have a break this morning, so here's a bit about the new job. I love it. I work days some days, afternoons and evenings on other days, and some weekend days. This weekend is my first weekend day work, I work Sunday. Boring, mundane stuff, eh?

The best thing about working in a library is I get to see a lot of variations of personalities and get to witness human nature up close. We get kids in who want on the internet to play games, adults who have been laid off or fired and want to send out resumes, older people who have varying degrees of computer knowledge. And many Spanish speakers, so I get to brush up on my Español. I work with a woman who is so eager to learn and so curious, it is wonderful. We both also are looking for the best ways to do things, and just switched our desks around so it made more sense. I am working on documenting procedures in my spare time and creating an excel spreadsheet to track our patron stats. I love it!

The other side of human nature rears its ugly head too. I come across people who will cheat the system with no care for how it affects others. People who become helpless when anyone is there to do a thing for them. Have met teachers who are otherwise capable people (I hope) who can't figure out simple things on a web site. I completely understand not knowing how to navigate on a computer or how to know what to click on. I guess I expect someone who teaches other people to know that MA is Massachusettes and not Maine. Of be able to look it up. And there are some people who go in just lonely. I don't mind giving them attention when I can, but not at the expense of others who really need my help. Most of all I expect people to be considerate of others, be aware of their surroundings and just be conscientious humans. I don't think that's too much to ask.

more library talk as I learn more. I promise. :)

it's G-R-R-R-EAT!

I loved my first day at the new job, and am heading to my second day soon here. More later when I have time to breathe. Thank you all for your great comments! Now I just need to learn to manage my non-work time efficiently so I can catch up on tribe and blogs and such. :)

the wheel of fortune keeps turning

Here's the deal :)

Because the City of [Censored, alas] waited till Friday to give me my drug test (what fun that was!) I won't start work till Tuesday. It takes 24 hours for the results to get back from the lab confirming I haven't even thought about illicit drugs ever and then I become part of the library family. Yay! So expect a report Tuesday night on my first day as a library assistant.

In other news, my troupe danced again Saturday night and had a great time. The guest troupe, Visions in Dance, is the most fabulous set of ladies I have ever had the pleasure to watch and to dance with. They are amazing and we will be dancing with them soon. They loved our set, we loved theirs. Anyway....my troupe has been asked by one of the local bellydance matriarchs to perform for her gig on New Year's Eve and get paid for it. Usually that is the night we have a birthday party for a pair of my dear friends, so I don't know if we will be dancing or not, but I hope we end up getting to dance AND have the birthday party. I have made tips before while dancing, but this is a bit different. Now I wonder how many sets she expects...

Anyway, seems like everything is going swimmingly. I'll report back about how my first day goes and then maybe I'll start having something of substance to say around here more often.

Good News!

I have a job! I start Monday the 14th. It's at a library, I am a library assistant. I help people use the computers and find books and movies. I probably shelve them as well (the books and movies, not the people). I do not tell people to shush.

Dream job!

compromise is the art of dying slowly

Yes, Virginia, it has been almost a month since I wrote anything online. I have been contemplating the meaning of life. Yeah, that's it....really I have. Part of that is trying to understand how we get away from being ourselves and become something we don't even want to be for the "love" of other people. Or even to get them to like us. I hated seeing it happen when I was in high school even though I was probably an unwitting player of the game myself. Loneliness does strange things to people. They pretend to like certain books when really they don't enjoy reading at all. Movie tastes change. Sometimes it is a gradual thing and a person actually does change to be more like the person whose attention they want to keep. Other times a person changes because he sees the good in the way the people around him are, or she wants to be something more than she was reared to be. The sad part is when someone tries to fit into a mold he doesn't fit to gain or remain in a relationship. In the end there is much resentment and the feeling that you'd do anything for a person is replaced by a self-loathing and a despair about the significant other not loving you for you, but loving what you showed him you were in the first place.

So pondering all these things I came across this post by Amanda at Mouse Words, who is actually posting through Pandagon now, about women who will have surgery to replace their hymens so they appear to be a virgin when the big day comes. I agree, between all the active living we do these days, hymens don't really pose the painful and bloody problem they once did. However I think Amanda sums it up nicely in her last paragraph:

Ladies, if a man looks deep into your eyes and lovingly says that he cannot wait until he rips into you and you bleed and cry, if your first thought is, "Uh-oh. I don't know if I can give that to him because of other partners/tampons/a horse-riding hobby," you might have a problem that surgery isn't going to fix. But, a good step is to ditch that guy and maybe think about one who wants sex to be about fun and love instead of bloody conquest.

Someday people will be proud of who they are enough so that they don't pretend to be something else for the attention of others. Someday people won't put up with the crazy expectations of potential mates. The best relationships I have ever been witness to is when each person is his own person who enjoys the company of the other. Perhaps this is why the middle of love is much better to me than the beginning. In the beginning it's fireworks and sparks and giggles and inside jokes that are disgusting to watch from outside the relationship. With time that flame tempers and glows. Ten years later you realize how comfortable you really are, how much more yourself you are because the fear of offending the other person is gone. The security of the relationship affords us the ability to be ourselves more. I wouldn't want to jump straight into that part of the relationship, though. The journey is as important as the arrival.

fear is the mind killer, and the productivity killer too

I love magazines.

Maybe it's because I have a short attention span, or perhaps it's a fear of commitment, but I like reading short articles, short poems, short stories and short novels. I realize that fear of commitment is pervasive in my life, and oddly the very magazines I read serve to rub my face in the fact. Glutton for punishment? Guilty as charged.

I especially love reading "green" magazines, the ones that tell you where to buy recycled bamboo flooring or non-COV paint for your walls. The ones that tell you to clean your house with lemon juice and white vinegar. That has never worked for me. My house for some reason doesn't seem clean using some of the recommended home-made cleaners, but I really really want to use them. I have a vested interest in being "green" and using alternative forms of energy. I am a hippy at heart I guess. But back to my commitment issues. I was reading Natural Home recently and there is an article about a woman who lived for 10 years in a great apartment with some garden space until the landlord sold the building and the new owner made some toxic changes and destroyed the beauty of the natural oak floors and the original look of the windows and such. She had to pick up her garden and move it to a new place. First of all, what a tremendous effort! But she found a place and transplanted her garden. She mentions that the yard was too quiet, so she put out bird feeders and planted flora that would attract butterflies and other of Nature's pets. Soon she could sit on the porch and watch the wildlife. How I envy her!

I have been in this house for almost 8 years. I just planted some iris in the front flowerbed this winter. I got a landscaper to give me a plan and a quote once, but never followed through. I could do it myself, but I don't. I live as if I am about to move, and have been doing so for the past 5 years. I finally got around to painting my office a couple of years ago, and bought some artwork for the walls. The art is resting against the cabinet in the guest bathroom. It has to be moved gently aside if ever a guest actually wants to use the bathroom for its intended purpose. The guest bathtub is used for storage of a Python aquarium hose that is too long to use (but I might need it someday! Really!). There are two computers in the guest bath just waiting to merge into something that actually works.

The point being that I have all these wonderful ideas of how I want the house and yard to look and I don't act on them because of an underlying feeling of pointlessness. If I won't be here, why make the changes? I know and am impressed by friends who go about making their houses and apartments, however impermanent, a home and a refuge. I make do, I deal, I put it off, I don't invest the time or effort.

My last house was really a great house, but I did the same thing. When it came time to move, we had to fix the place up because the buyers had an FHA loan and FHA has regulations it imposes on the seller. Once we made the changes we were loathe to move but we had already committed. See, it is a bad word! It means not changing your mind, being trapped, loss of freedom.

I am sure that someday I will come to discover that there is actually more freedom in commitment than there is in the limbo state I seem to have lived most of my life in. I just hope this epiphany comes before it's too late.

miscellaneous musings

Hunting for an old blog post recently, I re-read a lot of my first few months of entries. I am so ashamed at what I have become since then. I used to write stuff that was more than a few sentences and actually showed an opinion about things. Now, cheesy blog quizzes. Not that there is anything wrong with cheesy blog quizzes, but when they become a staple of your blogging, you gotta wonder what contribution you are making. Or at least I do. Bah. So my, um, Mayday resolution a few weeks late is to write more and make it a better quality too.

I realize that some of this may be precipitated from an underlying depression from not being "gainfully employed" for so long. So to hell with that. I enjoy what I do and the interviews are becoming more frequent. Things are looking up. I had an interview with TWU last week for a tech support position and I thought it went really well. Granted, I thought I would have heard from them by now, but I am going to follow up and see where they are in the process. I liked the people I met, I liked the job description and potential within it. This week I had an interview with UNT, the other university in town, for a programming position. I thought the interview went well but it didn't click as well as the TWU one. I really like the job, though, and the benefits are incredible. The guy who interviewed me seems like a great manager, too. They won't be calling people back till after the 1st of June.

Finally, I had an interview with a staffing agency that is submitting my resume for what would be a cherry of a job if it lasts more than 2 months. And it might. One of the cities around here has a fire department that recently acquired quite a bit of land. The fire dept. is creating a mock town called "Safety Town" and it will have a post office, fire department, chamber of commerce, even a "mayor" which is probably just the head administrator. They are looking for someone to write stories that demonstrate the importance of fire safety. The stories will be geared to children from kindergarten age to about 6th grade, because the main "tourists" of Safety Town will be school children on field trips. What a fun job! And it pays well enough. There is a possibility it could turn into something long term or permanent, and I have some ideas that would help that right along. The next step is to get an interview with the fire department itself. While the university jobs pay more and have better bennies (discounted or free tuition, anyone?), this job sounds like a lot more fun. I think if I were to get any of these three positions I would be happier with life in general.

Last news for today before I go make sure my spaghetti doesn't boil over: I added a new blog to the blogroll, Aurorealis. I like her site, she's a fellow geek/retrophile. I will also be going through my blogroll to clean it up a bit. I realize I don't go read everyone every day any more, probably for the same reason I haven't written a lot of value here lately. Trust that I try to visit all of you regularly, even if that is once every week or two.

adding to the census

A big congratulations goes out to my neice and nephew on the birth of their twins today. 5 lb, 12 oz and 5 lb 13 oz each, a boy and a girl. They have been wanting this addition to the family for a long time, and now they have three beautiful kids. I am so happy for them! I'll annoy you all with pictures when I get some.

aging gracefully, part 2

In keeping with the theme of my post on aging, a friend of mine sent me this bit from Andy Rooney that has made the rounds several times. I think it bears repeating.

Andy Rooney says....
"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here
are just a few reasons why:

An over 40 woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to
ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If an over 40 woman doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit
around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And
it's usually something more interesting.

An over 40 woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she
is, what she is, what she wants, and from whom. Few women past the
age of 40 give a darn what you might think about her or what she's
doing.

An over 40 woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful
relationships" and commitment." The last thing she wants in her life
is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover.

Over 40 women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with
you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of
course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they
think they can get away with it.

Over 40 women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know
what it's like to be unappreciated.

An over 40 woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her
women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her
best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

A woman over 40 woman couldn't care less if you're attracted to her
friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins
to an over 40 woman. They always know.

An over 40 woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not
true of younger women.

Over 40 women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off
you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to
wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise over 40 women for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.

For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a
bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with
some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

Andy Rooney

life is a dance, get out on the floor!

Okay, I am looking for new breakfast foods. I am bored with cereal, and it has too much sugar usually since my family is predisposed to diabetes. Bah. Humbug. I am not industrious enough to bake whole grain bran muffins. Plus I think I need a little protein in the mornings. Any suggestions? While I love leftover pizza, the goal here is to lose some weight. What? Exercise? Are you kidding? :)

The only exercise I am getting right now is dancing. You'd think this would be enough, but it really isn't. I have slacked on the yoga and am getting stiff, so dancing isn't as strenuous as it probably should be. However, I did get to perform with my dance buddy Jess last night at a Romanian restaurant. There was a "Romanian" feast, too, but it seemed a lot like Greek Salad and chicken and rice with an artichoke sauce. It was delicious, but not what I consider Romanian. Where's the mamaliga? Where's the tochitura? Okay, not that I really want to eat tochitura. Now sarmale....I love sarmale. Meat rolls in saurkraut leaves. Yum. With the mamaliga.

Anyway, the restaurant. It was the site of this month's Harem Night. We danced a skirt dance that was a big hit. Then Jess danced a great solo, but the words to the song were controversial and she offended someone. No more dancing to that song in public, which is a shame. It's a great song. She got several tips! We will perform the skirt dance again at the next hafla. We have also been asked back to dance at the next Harem Night, back at Stratos on May 5. Stratos has a better dance area. We are going to try to come up with something in the next month, but we'll see how that goes. We may fall back on something we already know. I'm kind of excited, really.

I am waiting to hear back from the few job opportunities I got last week, so keep your fingers crossed!

in like a lion

Happy Equinox, Happy Spring! Ok, I'm a day late (and a dollar short) but I am thrilled that spring has finally sprung. Yeah, the lawn needs mown regularly now. Yeah, the weather is erratic and the pressure changes leave us all feeling like crap, at least here in Texas. But I can't complain that the temps are in the 70s and 80s  and the breeze blows through in a way that makes the local parks irresistable.

On that note, my creativity levels have increased, woohoo! My little gnomes and wizards are coming along (more photos soon) and I have finally picked the art back up and am creating characters for an online comic strip. I have the first two strips written but need to finish designing the way everything looks. Thank goodness for books on art and drawing since there just aren't any really good places to go learn to polish your drawing style here without being in school. Maybe they'd let me audit, but honestly I don't remember any classes at UNT teaching what I want to know. Oh well!

Thursday last was Harem Night at Stratos and the show was wonderful! My good friend/teacher Jessica Dawn and I are going to dance at the next Harem Night, April 10 at Constatin's. That is, if I can get the choreography memorized and my backbends working right again. I haven't been keeping my flexibility up as much as I should but this is a great reason to get it back, as well as my strength. 20 days and counting! Meanwhile, Little Egypt had another great weekend of classes and dancing and...I do have a copy of my last performance on DVD. For those who asked, your copies will be in the mail soon and I will post one here as soon as I figure out how to do it.

A word about the BellyDance Academy that is hosting the Harem Nights. The place is run by Neenah and she is a legend and a goddess. When I mentioned the woman who could roll quarters on her stomach, up and down, left row, then middle row, then right row, this is the woman. Her muscle isolation is incredible and her show is not to be missed! She is a lot of fun to watch and has great stage presence. Dancers like Neenah inspire me to keep working.

a bit of odd stuff

First I wanted to mention that the Dance From the Heart benefit was wonderful! I'll try to get around to a full report later, but meanwhile I was sorely amiss by not posting about the 11th anniversary of Bill Hicks' death. He was a great man and a fantastic comedian who used his art to affect change as he could and point out the general stupidity of most of the sheeple in the world. He was a comedic pioneer. Everytime you hear a Dennis Leary bit, know that it has its foundations deep in Bill Hicks territory.

On Neil Gaiman's site I found a link to a place linking to the Bill Hicks Foundation for Wildlife Rehabilitation. The Bill Hicks Foundation for Wildlife is a non-profit organization of volunteers dedicated to rescuing, rehabilitating, and releasing orphaned, ill, and injured wildlife in and around the Texas Hill Country. Just wanted to pass that information along in case anyone felt like donating to a good cause. Check out the Rant Off fundraiser on March 3. I love living in Texas.

Also on Neil's site I found a link to a study that shows that British and American people smile differently. Very interesting. It also explains why everyone, male and female alike, love Angelina Jolie.

dance news

Just a reminder to those of you who come here for something more than the ongoing debate and shrine to Dr Scott, this Sunday the 27th is the DFW Dance From the Heart benefit for victims of the tsunami. Check out the Dance From the Heart website for a show near you.

DALLAS/FORT WORTH, TX. Dance From the Heart is coordinating with sponsors in cities across the US. Locally, we will present a Dance Benefit on Sunday, February 27, 2005 to aid those in Southeast Asia affected by the tsunami. Titled “Dance From The Heart, North Texas,” the Dallas/Fort Worth benefit will present workshops and performances of Tribal Fusion, Egyptian, Gypsy, Indian, and Polynesian style dance. This multi-cultural event will showcase the best in local dance talent. All dancers and instructors have donated their time in support of this cause. The Victory Arts Center, located at 801 W. Shaw Street in Fort Worth (www.victoryartscenter.com), has generously donated their theater and main hall for the event. Workshops begin at 10:00am on Sunday, February 27, 2005. Performances and shimmy thons will take place throughout the day, with an evening gala starting at 7:00pm. All proceeds from the event will be donated to Oxfam America, in support of their continuing relief efforts. This will be a free show, with donations to Oxfam greatly appreciated.
www.oxfam.org

Next weekend, Saturday the 5th, is another Kismet Hafla in Carrollton, Texas. Yes, I'll be dancing in this one, with lots of fake tattoos painted on and a big decorated stick that I shake at the "opposing tribe" in the dance. There will be videos, and thanks to Name Hidden, I am going to try to move the video to mpeg format and post it here. That will be at least a month from now, as it takes that long to even get the video back from editing. This hafla is also the one we are calling Austin Invades Dallas, as the second half of the show has dancers up from Austin. I think the idea is that we will go down there sometime for a trade-off. At least I hope so, Austin is a wonderful town.

cancer sucks

I have a friend who has been diagnosed with adenocarcinoma, and it sucks. He will be selling t-shirts soon, for a donation to help pay his bills. Here is his blog, and to the right, under my "Worthy Causes" heading you see a donate button with a jester on it. If you are so inclined, toss a little dosh his way. He's a good guy and his family are good people. I hope you are giving to the tsunami relief fund, but this is a way to help someone out that is closer to home. Thanks.

the passing of an artistic giant

I feel awful and can't believe that in my haze I didn't know that Will Eisner passed away on January 3, 2005. He was 87 and had just undergone quadruple bypass surgery. Best known for his comic The Spirit and his Eisner Awards that were given out for sequential art excellence each year, Eisner was a giant in the business and influenced many aspiring comic artists.

Here is his website.

RIP, Mr. Eisner. Your work touched so many of us.

news from the home front

Before I get back to the salt mines, I wanted to post a quick note. I haven't been able to read your blogs as often as I would like. Right now I have been doing the fact checking for American Airlines and working on articles for HID. Things are changing up there and I am in a holding pattern to see where the cards are going to fall. So far, I have been given extra work, which means extra cash. Work is good :)

Meanwhile, today is apparently De-Lurker Day. Far be it from me to beg for comments when I am not leaving very many anywhere these days, but you might want to mention this on yer own blog and see who is reading your site under the cover of darkness. Or whatever.

I'm getting used to writing 2005

Well I hope we have all survived our New Year's celebrations and resolutions. Did you make any? I really didn't this year, not officially. I am going to take better care of myself, in whatever way I need to at the time. This will include eating better, giving my body a little more exercise, and being nicer to myself in general. I am going to do my best to remember that what we all do, we do for a reason. I am going to stop beating myself up emotionally and physically.

By the way, it seems that many of you are experienced knitters. Is there something special I can do to keep the long edges of my knitting from curling? A special stitch, or just stretching the thing out occasionally? I notice it is worse with some fabrics than with others, and none of the books I have here address this. Help! :)

New Year, new people

As you may recall, a while back I posted a list of "213 Things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army."

Well I found out last night that I know his girlfriend, that SPC Schwartz is going to school here and travels in the circle I now do. I think I met him once, but will for sure meet him again soon. So yes, he exists. He now has a new website up, www.skippyslist.com. Go check it out. And for all of you venturing out tonight, please be careful. All those other people are drunk and crazy. :)

just the facts, ma'am

Thank you, everyone, for all the good cheer at my finding new work. I hope it turns out to be something fantastic. Fact checking for a blogger is like being a yarn purchaser for a knitter. Fun!

Speaking of fact checking, I was sent this website, Choose the Blue, which offers a way to see which way the companies you support lean politically. Now the site is aimed at Democrats, but the information is good for anyone who has an interest in such things as which party gets profits from your gas station or local grocer. Some stores or companies don't contribute or are not yet in the database, so it isn't 100% yet, but it is fun to see how people really do vote with their dollars.

What I find really interesting is that Boar's Head Meat allegedly sends 100% of its political donations to the Democratic party and Kroger sends 75-80% of its political donations to the Republican party, and Kroger in my town carries Boar's Head Meats. I wonder if that means they cancel each other out. Hrm.....

overwhelmed

Thank you all so much for wishing me a happy birthday! I had quite a full day, and ended it by going to see The Incredibles, which lives up to its name. I loved it! And then to come home and find all these messages for me....you guys are the greatest! I will get to posting my resolutions for the new year tomorrow. You know of course that one of them was to quit procrastinating. HA! Now go see The Incredibles if you haven't already. :)

Nas, that horoscope is scary. And it's me. I hate when that happens (not)! :D

much ado about nothing

So yesterday was the day to be mashed and prodded by a med tech who was generally pleasant and explained everything really well. It wasn't as bad or as painful as I thought it would be. I find that things like that usually are not as traumatic as people make them out to be. The process was uncomfortable, but not terribly painful. The most painful part was sitting in the waiting room with a really bad soap opera on. At one point the plot, from what I gather, is that some girl, Theresa, is having a baby that she then is supposed to give to some other girl, Gwen, and the father of the baby...um, Ethan.

So Ethan goes upstairs with Fox, who is here to pick up Whitney, who is apparently pregnant with her brother's child. While this happens, Gwen goes into some daydream fantasy where she is what looks to be a saloon hall girl, in tight strapless corset and lacy skirt, with black tights and high button boots. It gets worse from there, ending in her shooting the woman who is stealing her baby. Then back to the real world. I didn't want to watch but it was so funny, so bad, it was like a train wreck. It was like a dramatic version of Howard's Head or Dream On :)

So, for some humor here is a little conversation I had this morning:

Them: so, what do you want for your birthday?
Us: I don't know. a phone. some cds and books. a garden. a job. world peace.
Us: :D
Them: hrmmm, last time I checked, Wal-MArt said they wouldn't be getting their next shipment of world peace until after the new year
Us: dammit!
Us: well that's better than SAMS, which was reporting it would be 2008 before another shipment came in
Them: wow...you know, I heard some places were getting preferential treatment...but you have to keep an eye out for inferior replacement products...I heard some people were getting world apathy and just placing a "peace" label on it
Us: hehehe
Us: I also read that some places were replacing the wording "martial law" with "world peace" and hoping no one notices
Them: man, that sucks...martial law has so much aspartame in it...

what to say?

It's been a few days. I and a friend of mine decided we were going to stop posting about politics for a while and I am therefore looking for something to write about. Certainly not Ashcroft and Powell quitting their jobs with this administration.

What I did this weekend was go to another hafla. Unfortunately I was running around so much helping out I didn't get pictures, but this one was AMAZING. The troupe Indigo Rose performed, and Martha did a tribal dance that was beautiful. Tribal not in the ATS style, which is usually improv and involves many dancers, but tribal as in primitive, with Turkish fist pounding and foot stomping and expressions of anguish and joy. Great stuff.

Shanna the Fiery did a routine to Santa Baby that was sexy and fun. She is a theatrical whiz and has great control of her facial expressions. She is always a joy to watch.

The most impressive bit was a troupe called Visions in Dance, which performed an experimental routine that had modern music accompanyment. The dance was an "expression of the darker side of human nature," and was beautiful. The dancers were outfitted in costumes of dark greys and blacks. The movement was precise and flowing simultaneously, and quite powerful. The poses they struck were stunning. Their interaction with each other was incredible too. I can't say enough about this troupe, and I hope I see more of their work soon.

anniversary

Not much for me to say today, except that I am glad I have met all of you here in blog-land. You have made a difference in my life. I could list all of you and tell you specifically what difference you have made, but that would make for a LONG post. I used to do that every August, but this seems as good a time as any.

In August of 1995, I "celebrated" the end of my first marriage. We were still friends, and are still on good terms when we see each other these days. I am lucky that way. Anyway, I thought what better way to demarc the time than with a ritualized funeral. Wierd, yes, but I wasn't the same me anymore. I had changed, the crysalis had been broken through and the new butterfly emerged. Rather, the fire had burned me down to the bones and then some, and I had come back whole again. Funeral seemed in order. I always did have a sense of the macabre.

It was a Friday. A friend of mine played Death, came and found me unawares, handed me a bullet and drove me off in his black car. Drove me back to my own house. I got re-dressed. Everything was ready. I laid down on a table set up for it and the wake began. M wailed his trombone, M'Lady Jupiter. Friends spoke as if I were really gone. People cried. And everyone came and said goodbye to me. Each person told me something special, something you shouldn't wait till someone dies to tell them. I wanted so badly to tell them something back, but I wasn't speaking. Only listening. Listening with ears from eternity.

The crowd dispersed, and another good friend and I went to get my tattoo. It's a phoenix, tribal style, designed by my artist husband (would be ex in a few months). We holed up in a cheap hotel till Sunday putting the special anti-bacterial ointment on the fresh ink. We talked about life and men, trying to figure both out. Sunday I met the rest of my friends and let them know I was back. No, no delusions of messianic status, the timing just seemed right. Plus I had to work Monday. Three is a magic number, I learned that from School House Rock, so three days it was. That Sunday I had a lot of catching up to do. I sat each friend down and let them know how they had affected me over the time we had known each other. I told them how they were special in my life.

From that point on, I made a point of doing this each August. I fell slack the past few years and I am not proud of that. Just know that each of you is special to me. Seriously. If you need to know how, drop me a note and I will tell you. And don't forget to tell the people in your life what they mean to you. Before one of you is gone. It doesn't have to be mushy or overly dramatic. But it is awfully nice to know what impact you have had on other people.

Aw look, this ended up being a LONG post anyway. And I still have that bullet.

you know there is something wrong

...when you wake up with a start at 6:30 in the morning (after getting home at 1 am) thinking, "Oh no! It's Saturday!" only to relax a few minutes later and think, "whew, it's only Thursday."

I went to dinner and then salsa dancing (more like salsa watching) last night with some girlfriends. Had a great time. All the dancers were great to watch. We danced solo on the sidelines a bit, but most of the music while I was there was geared toward couples. This apparently changed after I left, and my friend had a great time dancing. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed going out and dancing to a live band.

job search continues

Back on the horse you fell off of, as they say. I have been watching a lot of CSI lately (I hope I am not repeating myself, but I am too lazy to go check), and I have been thinking. I know that show is not reality, but it has a lot of real things in it. When I was in college, I got a pre-med degree, major in biology, minor in chemistry. When I didn't end up going to med school, I considered my other options. I didn't want to spend 4 years in med school and extra years in clinicals and as a resident. Silly me. I just wanted to go be a medical examiner, so I started looking around at the next best thing. Crime scene investigator was recommended to me and caught my eye. Again with the lazy, I didn't follow up on it. Now I am.

I can get a masters of science in forensic genetics or in general forensics in 2 years. Very cool, but I need a job now. Why not work while going to school? Not sure I can or want to, at least not full time. Back to the job hunt, because I am qualified for quite a bit. I found that Dallas County is looking for a Trace Evidence Examiner. TINGTINGTING! We have a winner. I applied. Just for grins I applied for the Toxicology Chemist II and Drug Chemist II jobs as well. I am not as interested in them, but I am qualified, surprise, surprise.

See, while I love CSI, I know I would be better back in the lab than in the field. I am more of a Greg than a Sarah. I would love field work, but could work immediately in a lab.

Now to find out whose desk I sit in front of till they hire me....

is the drought over?

I have a job interview at 1 today. I have a couple of others in the offing, and I found a great copy editing job online this morning.

I'll let you know how it all goes. Yes, I am excited. :)

Blame it on the moon

..or on the summer, but I have not been around in a while. I try to get to as many of your blogs in a day as I can, but I have been somewhat busy. Despite what people may think :)

First, I have the possiblity of 3 jobs. One I am waiting to hear on next week, and it involves writing. The second I have to decide on, as it is a part time manager/promoter/assistant for a talented musician/dancer/healer. The third I was called on today and am trying to reconnect with the hiring manager. It is more in my past line of work, even working for a company that does pretty much the same thing my last company did. I don't know exactly in what capacity I would be working for them, what my job description would be, but I think it will be a bit of everything all mixed up into one-and I like that.

I promise more information as any of these solidify. Meanwhile I want to leave you at least for now with this disturbing site. I kinda love it :)

life mimics life

I grow plants. Houseplants only, right now, although I have been wanting to plant some herbs and such around the back porch, maybe some lavender at the front door. Here's what I have noticed: when I am doing well, feeling good, my plants are perkier and more lively looking. when I am down or having a hard time, they are droopier, need water and attention more often, and have more dead leaves. I am willing to concede that some of this is perception, and that I have a harder time taking care of them when I am feeling blue, but I can't attribute all of the behaviour to that. I honestly think they pick up on the energy of the house.

Crazy? What have you noticed changes around you when you are happy or sad?

Friday? Friday? hooray!

Ever had so much to say that the words come tripping out over the tongue and you look like a babbling idiot? That's where I am right now with this post. Where to start? Oh yes, at the beginning. That's what they all say. Well there is no beginning, just a series of random news bits.

First, I have quit the two major minor jobs I was working: tutoring two small children, and working on a web page for someone I used to edit for. These were my biggest excuse/time wasters. Now the work was good, and fun, but as I said before I was using them to show that I was indeed doing something, when in fact what I was doing was not contributing to the overall wellness of my bank account or household. In actuality, I quit the tutoring, and the web page quit me. It all worked out well in the end. I hand off the work done on the web site this afternoon, and my last tutoring session is next Tuesday. Meanwhile, I am checking the heels on my pumps and looking for the phone number of an old friend who is starting an IT department in a new company.

The rest, I promise, won't be LiveJournal fodder :)

Literacy is on the decrease, says an article on Yahoo. I am of two minds on this. On one hand, it upsets me to think we are becoming a less literate nation. Reading isn't seen as important. To be catty, I could say that at one point intelligence was encouraged because only the brightest and best became president. Okay, let's rephrase that to the brightest and best while males with money became president. But it was still a goal, and many kids used becoming president as their brass ring. These days we see that good grades don't matter as much. But I digress, and I may be wrong on that point. It was pure opinion.

On the other hand, this article says book-reading has decreased. This according to a survey. Well often if I am reading a tech manual, I don't consider that "reading" even though I am, in fact, reading. Not only am I reading, I am reading something that requires more comprehension than, say, a murder mystery (which I love). So book/novel reading is on the decline, due to television (yes), movies (ok), and the Internet. Well I don't know about you, but most of what I do on the Internet involves reading. Actually all of it does, and the pictures are there as icing on the cake, so to speak. I realize there are people, many people, who mostly just look at pictures on the Internet (ahem), but I wonder what percentage of picture browsing makes up the entire internet experience.

So while I think this is a good start, I want to see more facts. I want to know not only who is reading books/novels, but also are people reading other things? What about the advent of email causing the increase in people reading and writing letters, previously a lost art form due to the telephone?

I do get frustrated with people's short-cuts in writing. Don't u? I don't like the shorthand that Internet chat rooms spawned. Not one bit. I think it's lazy to not spell out each word. I understand when space is limited or typing is a pain, like in cell phone text messaging, but otherwise...I am prejudiced.

Well I have taken this rant in an entirely different direction than I intended! I guess I just want to tell people to keep reading, keep writing, keep communicating. I'll save the rest of the news links for another post. Time for breakfast!

I've been good

I have been doing all kinds of non-computer related things. But I miss catching up with you all, my friends. The final straw was a letter I got in the mail today from Dee, in Uzbekistan! She sent me a lovely postcard, shown here:

Thank you, billy, for showing me the error in my image-posting ways. It works fine now. And I apprently didn't have the card straight on my scanner. This is Samarkand. Gur-Emir Mausoleum. Entrance portal. How cool is that!?

There will be more posting soon. For now I am off to my dance class. When I get back there are quizzes to take and gossip to catch up.

Anne, I found us a job!

I read a little comic called Something Positive, by Randall Milholland, native North Texan moved to the northeast. His recent strips are about something he was introduced to probably by one of his readers. Ask The Tech Girl. This service preys on geek boys who could never talk to a smart girl, or any girl for that matter, for any length of time. Call to chat about what *you* know about, or get some help fixing your HP printer, and get an ego boost from a hot tech girl. Whoever came up with this is a genius. I wonder how well it is doing.

Be sure to check out their Cafe Press shop and buy a t-shirt. :)

the devil made me do it

Welcome to my 666th post! I wanted to have something fiendishly diabolical to say, but I got nothing, folks. Since I have been on semi-hiatus (you know I can't really stay away), much has happened.

First, I took Snowball's compatability quiz. We are quite the pair, would make great friends. Well I knew that already! :) Here are the results:

Congratulations! You're so compatible with
Snowball that she's bound to bond with you. It
might not be true love, but you can at least
have a quality frienship.


How compatible would you be with Snowball?
brought to you by Quizilla

Secondly, I don't know what minor demi-god I pissed off, but yesterday I just broke everything I touched. First I baked a cake for one of my troupe sisters, and I either greased the pan wrong or didn't let it cook long enough, or something, because the cake came to pieces when I removed it from the pans. I tried to icing-glue it together into some semblance of reasonableness, but to no avail.

A picture of the ugly cake, after a failed attempt at frosting it.

A view of the pans after I scraped out as much cake matter as possible to put together the Franken-Cake:

And last but not least, the cake I bought to replace the monstrosity:

The new cake was a chocolate mousse cake, with the mousse being slightly raspberry flavored, yum. The fruit was fresh and delicious. As tasty as the pretty cake was, mine was better, I think. Of course I didn't know that till after I decided it was a bust and dug in with a friend and a couple of forks.

My second trial for the day, or first rather since it happened before the cake fiasco, was a flat tire on Lewisville bridge. I, being the independant woman of the whatevers, started to change the tire myself. Lucky for me, a car that was parked at the lake backed up and three men got out and asked if I needed help. I said yes, please, and called a friend and asked for a phone call in 30 minutes or to come looking for me if I didn't answer. The nice men changed my tire and went on their way, leaving me to drive to Discount Tires and have my tire repaired or replaced.

Discount Tires is The Best Tire Company as far as service goes. Last time I got a flat, I replaced all four tires and bought the lifetime warranty. Yesterday I took my car in and they replaced my tire for free. All I paid for was $13 to update the warranty for the new tire. Within 30 minutes I was back on the road, no hassles and no long wait. I highly recommend Discount Tires' lifetime tire warranty. It covers tire, wheel, rim, all that to be replaced for free.

No moral to the story today, kids, just a day in the life of me. Nothing diabolical. I guess I should really be glad for that! :)

BTW, has anyone figured out how to format the photos so they don't do the funky things in our posts like sit wherever they want despite the html work I put in my post? How frustrating!

'struth!

I have been lazy. Wallowing. slowly going into hibernation mode. I have been taking excuse jobs to get by just enough to say I am doing something. I have been afraid to go for jobs that I should be able to get. I doubt my abilities and end up wanting to do non-jobs. Things I think will be easy, and I want to do them for that reason rather than because I have much interest in the job itself. Oh, I *think* I want that job sacking groceries at the local health food store, the small one that probably pays its employees just enough to keep the bike tires filled with air. I truly believe I want to work as a clerk in a holistic medical clinic. You know, the one that specializes in myscofaciabilateralmytosis, something throngs of people are clamoring to have done, donchaknow. Uh-huh.

A dear friend kicked my ass recently, and pointed out the decline in my activity over the past three years. I became slowly quieter, less likely to rock the boat. Most importantly, I found The Internet™ and exchanged all my real friends for pixels on a screen.

Now, now, some of you are very nice pixels indeed! and I count you as close as friends who never meet in person can be. This is still, truly, my Third Place. But I gave up some of my living to be here A LOT. I lost interest in doing anything too far away from my computer, and for too long at a time. Most of you probably regulate yourselves just fine with your computer time, but I didn't. It was my alcohol. My cocaine. The internet is the opiate of the masses, perhaps? So that is why I have been slowing down with my posting, at least for a while. Till I can sit here and post something and then not spend hours surfing. Of course, it takes me 3 hours to get through my blogroll and actually respond to posts with comments of my own. Nightly. In place of sleep and other fun things. My Third Place, The Internet™, became my corner bar where I would go and drink myself silly and go home and drop into bed. I hate admitting it. Oh and that job? I'm going to get one. Watch me. But first...one time through the blogroll?

Hello. My name is Alicia, and I am a blogaholic.

a night on the town

Last night, oh my god, I ventured away from my computer and comfy chair into the world, and I lived to tell the tale!

A girlfriend of mine and I went to the arts district in Dallas, to the Dallas Center for Contemporary Art to view a members only show. The work was, for the most part, well done and showed great local talent. The members of the DCCA presented their work. I was quite taken with some of the pieces . And inspired. After I finish a birthday sketch, I already have another lined up in the queue.

Afterwards, H and I were going to meet up with some friends at a karaoke bar, after we found some food. We went to Cafe Brazil, and I had the best walnut crusted tilapia on a bed of spinach with a creamy citrus dill sauce. Yum! The karaoke was to take the place of a shindig at the Dallas Museum of Art, because Branford Marsalis was playing at the DMA and getting in was nigh on impossible,

We actually made an early evening of it as H started feeling puny. In theory we will head back down to Deep Ellum next Friday. I kind of like the "real world." :)

On another note, since everyone else is posting these I suppose I will as well...

My hair is sun and bleach lightened right now, too much for my tastes. Next time I get it done, I will be going back to my darker color. Is it just me, or do all these little pictures look kind of "off"?

I'm home!

...and I'm tired. The trip was wonderful. I have lots of photos and stories, but they will have to wait till my mind and body are rested. One thing I did come away with that I will share is a sense that we need to expand our horizons, as humans. I thought the drive to my house from the highway was beautiful, with bowers of trees and a little pond with ducks. Then I saw Trees and Lakes and Rivers and such, and realized how much more there is out there than in my own back yard.

Then I came home, and also realized the beauty of being there as well. Both experiences are important. With that, I will leave you with something from one of my email lists I got among the 400 emails I had waiting for me when I got back. It says what I really mean:

Beauty

The wanderer Bhaggava accused the Buddha of saying that the universe was caused merely by chance. The Buddha replied:

"I have heard others of your sect, Bhaggava, say that when I awoke and found the truth, which was beautiful, I remained in that bliss and then regarded the universe as ugly and meaningless in comparison.

"But I never taught that, Bhaggava. This is what I do say: 'Whenever one awakes and finds the beautiful, then one knows indeed what beauty is.'"

-Majjhima Nikaya
From "Buddha Speaks," edited by Anne Bancroft, 2000. Reprinted by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Boston, www.shambhala.com.

I indeed found the beautiful on this trip, and I am grateful.

tips from your neighborhood spider target

Well, kids, we have a 99% belief that yes, Virginia, that is a Brown Recluse bite. From what I have found on the internet, it's fairly small so far. I might avoid necrosis altogether. That would be nice. At any rate, after a while it will be all healed up nicely. I got a cortisone shot and a new prescription for antibiotics. Apparently yours truly has developed an allergy to Augmentin, a penicillin based drug. For safety's sake I will avoid all penicillin.

Also from what I read on the internet, the best thing to do is Not Get Bitten. Well I would have done that in the first place if I had known there was even a chance. I didn't see the little bugger. And while I am grateful it didn't bite me on an arm or leg, it sure picked an inconvenient spot. Right where most of my low-ride waistlines fall, right under the elastic of my undies. Yes, I wish I had chosen Door No. 2, Don't Get Bitten.

Barring that, if you do get bitten, see a doctor immediately. Get antibiotics, a steroid shot, and some antihistamines for the itch and swelling. The bite causes a histaminic reaction, as do most bites, and Benadryl works wonders. Oh, and Don't Scratch! The primary cause of necrosis and such is from infection secondary to the bite itself, caused by scratching the area. Luckily with the Benadryl it doesn't itch much.

But it hurts. A lot. Ibuprofen is good for the swelling and pain and fever that can accompany this type of bite. Watch your activity level, too. Elevating your heart rate causes blood to flow faster and