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November 25, 2003


I have been thinking about the death penalty and John Muhammad's sentencing lately. This is another one of those issues that people fall on either side of the fence on. Either they believe that all killing is wrong, including punishment by death, or they bring up the argument of the drain on the tax dollars and the overcrowding in the prison systems. I have to wonder how we know justice has been served when these people are sentenced to death. How do we know the defendent was guilty? And then there are all the loopholes that get guilty people off on technicalities. There are other cases in which people were unjustly charged, tried and sentenced. It boggles my mind. On the one hand I don't believe in cruel and unusual punishment. On the other hand, why does a criminal justly tried and sentenced get an easy death when his victims lived in terror or were tortured?

I feel I ought to spend the time investigating these things, all the processes and criteria, but that is beyond my reasonable ability at this point in my life. I want to do that with everything I question, and I question everything. I feel like I am living in Orwell's 1984, and I don't trust much I hear. I read people's sites and see them bickering and biting at each other without saying anything. Liberals say Bush is stupid and make jokes that he can't read anything higher than Good Night, Moon. Conservatives say that liberals are stupid for opposing the war. Where does anyone go for the real picture? Who can we trust? Trying to read all sides and make my own decision on every piece of news that comes along is exhausting. I have said before that we each process more information in a day than people during the American Revolution processed in their lifetimes.

There are places out there where the writers seem rational and unbiased. Sometimes finding the bias in their arguments is hard, like finding the sexist and racist remarks in some statements because we grew up with those beliefs so deeply ingrained. The more I learn to discern this, the more I realize I was and am so clueless about the games people play and the spin put on any given issue.

Once again I have started on one subject and wound my way around to another one. The underlying point of all this is that I don't want to give up my choices, my ability to make these decisions. Maybe I worry about more of these issues than I really need to. Perhaps this is all just a symptom of my deeper feeling of loss of control over the things in my life I should be able to control. I acknowledge that it is my perception that I have lost some control. I haven't, but I am not exerting myself to make sure everything goes as I will it to. I would almost call it a crisis of faith, a disbelief that everything is alright in the world. I hope I am just not seeing something that will be made clear soon.

I am just afraid to be wrong.

10:22 PM | Permalink


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Like I always say, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, rights and wrongs in an opinion don't make a decision, only a thought worthy remark. Anyways, I do believe justice is being served, though a life in jail with no visitors would seem better than death...

Have a great Thanksgiving! :) I decided to make the best of mine, by bring my palmcorder and getting some shots of Wisconsin! :) I might be able to update them while I'm there too, so please do keep an eye out on my site. :)

God bless!


Posted by: Andrew at Nov 26, 2003 8:13:23 AM

Alicia, it sounds like you are in a real introspecive mood these days. I think that is a good thing. It is important to question what you are being told, and not to take everything at face value. The hazard in that is finding anything to believe in. Remember that Plato told us that the unexamined life is not worth living, but too much "navel gazing" can tie you up in knots. The crucial part to remember is to give yourself a break occasionally, and let someoone else manage the universe for a few minutes/hours/days. As a recovering control freak, it is an effort to do so.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!


Posted by: Keith at Nov 26, 2003 5:56:59 PM

Isn't this the truth! I am going to relax this Thanksgiving and worry about nothing more than how much stuffing I can politely put on my plate. :)

Posted by: Alicia at Nov 26, 2003 7:13:50 PM

The world is not alright, yet, the world has never been alright, since the world is run by humans and all we can do is error. That said, there's no reason to constantly concern yourself with the problems and worries of this world unless you're out there everyday trying to fight to fix them. Our country can be in the shitter but there's not a whole we can do about that other than live with it or move. The dream of anyone being President is dead, they've proven that they can and will buy the election if they have an agenda to further. The illusions in this country of real choice and freewill are shattering, and the only thing we can do is to live under the rules of the country, live under the rules of another country, or lock ourselves away somewhere where only our rules apply. I, personally, choose options one and three, living by my own set of personal rules and yet obeying the laws set in this country. I may not like all their laws, but hey, it's better than most countries, though I refuse to be part of their commercial consumer bullshit culture. Just remember what Huey Long said: "When fascism comes to America it will in the form of Americanism." I think that's already happened to some degree, but you can't live in a world without rules and so you can either fight them, live with them, or live in ways that use them to your advantage. Again, I choose the later.

I guess what I'm saying is that the world seems constantly fucked, but I'll be damned if I let it ruin my fun. I believe the real crisis of faith to be when people don't realize one simple point: Solipsism. The only thing in this world that can be verified is the self. The only person who can get you into and out of trouble is yourself. The only person that you can ever truly know is yourself. And, furthermore, the only person you can ever fully Trust is yourself. Better yourself to better the world, I say. When I see people on my TV that are idiots (that former judge from Alabama with the ten commandments statue for example) I turn him off. I know he's an idiot who will never add anything positive to my life. I know all I'll do is rant and rave about him and it will serve no purpose whatsoever than to exhaust my breath. I leave him to seethe and die in his own ignorance somewhere out in this world and I continue to live my life, happier, fitter, and more productive because of it. I think the moment we remove all people and things from our life that do not give back to us in someway, that do not add something to ourselves or lives, the better we'll become. We'll attract only good, kind people, who are intelligent to us, and the stupid can be left to wither away until our culture is intelligent and strong again. I'm as kind as a person can be, make no mistake, but I have learned not to waste my precious breath and energy on those people who will never "get it". It's not my place to teach them, lord knows I tried and got kicked in the teeth for it. If they won't help themselves then they can go jump off a cliff for all I care. My point? Just enjoy yourself and your friends and life, Alicia, leave the worrying about the cosmos and world for others. There will always be those who solve the cosmic universal problems of the world. There will also always be stupid people. The least we can hope for is to live a life where we don't have to meet too many of them along the way.

Happy Turkey Day.

Posted by: David at Nov 27, 2003 9:03:51 AM