'struth!

I have been lazy. Wallowing. slowly going into hibernation mode. I have been taking excuse jobs to get by just enough to say I am doing something. I have been afraid to go for jobs that I should be able to get. I doubt my abilities and end up wanting to do non-jobs. Things I think will be easy, and I want to do them for that reason rather than because I have much interest in the job itself. Oh, I *think* I want that job sacking groceries at the local health food store, the small one that probably pays its employees just enough to keep the bike tires filled with air. I truly believe I want to work as a clerk in a holistic medical clinic. You know, the one that specializes in myscofaciabilateralmytosis, something throngs of people are clamoring to have done, donchaknow. Uh-huh.

A dear friend kicked my ass recently, and pointed out the decline in my activity over the past three years. I became slowly quieter, less likely to rock the boat. Most importantly, I found The Internet™ and exchanged all my real friends for pixels on a screen.

Now, now, some of you are very nice pixels indeed! and I count you as close as friends who never meet in person can be. This is still, truly, my Third Place. But I gave up some of my living to be here A LOT. I lost interest in doing anything too far away from my computer, and for too long at a time. Most of you probably regulate yourselves just fine with your computer time, but I didn't. It was my alcohol. My cocaine. The internet is the opiate of the masses, perhaps? So that is why I have been slowing down with my posting, at least for a while. Till I can sit here and post something and then not spend hours surfing. Of course, it takes me 3 hours to get through my blogroll and actually respond to posts with comments of my own. Nightly. In place of sleep and other fun things. My Third Place, The Internet™, became my corner bar where I would go and drink myself silly and go home and drop into bed. I hate admitting it. Oh and that job? I'm going to get one. Watch me. But first...one time through the blogroll?

Hello. My name is Alicia, and I am a blogaholic.