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February 28, 2005

sitting knitty

Snowball asked the other day for me to post some knitting pics. I don't have many, but here goes.

My first non-scarf project was a catnip toy shaped like a won ton. I got the pattern from Knitty.com, but mine doesn't look quite the same. The cats don't seem to mind, though. I may have put too much catnip in here because it was all I could do to get the thing away from them. I feel sure I'll be sorry later. Probably while I am sleeping.

Wonton1

Here's a view from the other side. Yeah, doesn't look much like food, does it? I'll remember this pattern for V-Day next year and use potpourri instead of catnip.

Wonton2

Here is a picture of a scarf, midway finished, and the pixie hat I am just now starting on from KnitWit by Amy R. Singer, of Knitty.com fame. Here is what it is supposed to look like when I finish. We'll see.

Knitting

There is another scarf I am working on from a deeper blue variegated yarn, but I can't seem to find it right now. That's disturbing. I wonder where it is. Anyway, guess I'll post a picture of it when I find it.

Knitting 04:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBack

from the state that brings you Hot Damn Tamales!

I got this in an email from Name Hidden. He lived down here briefly and knows how funny this is. We Texans love our chili cookoffs!

A Texas Chili contest...

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite.Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burni ng my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behi nd me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost whe n Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report

Humor 12:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

a bit of odd stuff

First I wanted to mention that the Dance From the Heart benefit was wonderful! I'll try to get around to a full report later, but meanwhile I was sorely amiss by not posting about the 11th anniversary of Bill Hicks' death. He was a great man and a fantastic comedian who used his art to affect change as he could and point out the general stupidity of most of the sheeple in the world. He was a comedic pioneer. Everytime you hear a Dennis Leary bit, know that it has its foundations deep in Bill Hicks territory.

On Neil Gaiman's site I found a link to a place linking to the Bill Hicks Foundation for Wildlife Rehabilitation. The Bill Hicks Foundation for Wildlife is a non-profit organization of volunteers dedicated to rescuing, rehabilitating, and releasing orphaned, ill, and injured wildlife in and around the Texas Hill Country. Just wanted to pass that information along in case anyone felt like donating to a good cause. Check out the Rant Off fundraiser on March 3. I love living in Texas.

Also on Neil's site I found a link to a study that shows that British and American people smile differently. Very interesting. It also explains why everyone, male and female alike, love Angelina Jolie.

Life 10:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 26, 2005

a break from the mundane

Some fun links for everyone

Free Your Mind

Amplified Bible

Film, Humor, Web/Tech 11:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 25, 2005

dance news

Just a reminder to those of you who come here for something more than the ongoing debate and shrine to Dr Scott, this Sunday the 27th is the DFW Dance From the Heart benefit for victims of the tsunami. Check out the Dance From the Heart website for a show near you.

DALLAS/FORT WORTH, TX. Dance From the Heart is coordinating with sponsors in cities across the US. Locally, we will present a Dance Benefit on Sunday, February 27, 2005 to aid those in Southeast Asia affected by the tsunami. Titled “Dance From The Heart, North Texas,” the Dallas/Fort Worth benefit will present workshops and performances of Tribal Fusion, Egyptian, Gypsy, Indian, and Polynesian style dance. This multi-cultural event will showcase the best in local dance talent. All dancers and instructors have donated their time in support of this cause. The Victory Arts Center, located at 801 W. Shaw Street in Fort Worth (www.victoryartscenter.com), has generously donated their theater and main hall for the event. Workshops begin at 10:00am on Sunday, February 27, 2005. Performances and shimmy thons will take place throughout the day, with an evening gala starting at 7:00pm. All proceeds from the event will be donated to Oxfam America, in support of their continuing relief efforts. This will be a free show, with donations to Oxfam greatly appreciated.
www.oxfam.org

Next weekend, Saturday the 5th, is another Kismet Hafla in Carrollton, Texas. Yes, I'll be dancing in this one, with lots of fake tattoos painted on and a big decorated stick that I shake at the "opposing tribe" in the dance. There will be videos, and thanks to Name Hidden, I am going to try to move the video to mpeg format and post it here. That will be at least a month from now, as it takes that long to even get the video back from editing. This hafla is also the one we are calling Austin Invades Dallas, as the second half of the show has dancers up from Austin. I think the idea is that we will go down there sometime for a trade-off. At least I hope so, Austin is a wonderful town.

Life 03:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

a quiz!

Let's break up the monotony, shall we?

My Inner Hero - Wizard!

I'm a Wizard!

There are many types of magic, but all require a sharp mind and a cool head. There is no puzzle I can't solve, no problem I can't think my way out of. When you feel confused or uncertain, you can always rely on me to untangle the knots and put everything back in order for you.

How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.

I warn you, though. The test is fun but they make you register with them, for their game. However, you can elect not to receive emails and not to play, as I understand it. Don't know why they make you do it in the first place, really. Oh well.

stolen from the Unseen Blogger, who is also a wizard.

Quizzes 12:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 22, 2005

more morbidity

I don't know where I saw this....oh yeah, on the Bruno comic site. It's very odd and creepy wierd.

Over Time

Film 08:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Great Scott!

Several months ago I wrote a post about Captain's Quarters blogmaster Captain Ed and one of his political analyses. Because of the nature of his post, I mentioned Dr. Gene Scott in the title. No other reference was made. This post has garnered me probably 80% (ok, maybe not quite that much) of my google referrals. People commented on the post title, not the post, and I have quite a few people lauding the good Dr. Scott here. I was amazed.

I watched him once. He was, if I remember correctly, comparing Jesus to Spider Man. Or, that may be apocrophyl. I never followed his ministry, or anyone's in particular. He has apparently made a much larger impact on people than I thought he would have. And, he passed on yesterday afternoon.

I continue to be amazed at this medium, how quickly information is passed, and how easily people come together over common interests.

addendum: I am also amazed at the people who keep commenting on that original post and how they are responding only to other commenters, neither bothering to read the original post or look around this site to realize where they are. I had a direct email from someone who said he would have addressed me by my first name if he had known what it was. I thought it was on here somewhere. Yup, just found it on my "about me" page. I don't want to disparage these people and their beloved religious leader, but it does strike me that so many of his followers who come here don't bother to look at anything but what they see in the space ahead of them. Amazing.

double addendum: I don't want to sound like a basher. Those folks found something really meaningful for them and that is more than many people get in this lifetime. Except us bloggers, of course, who have found our purpose in life :) Anyway, I am amazed at the people who are commenting, but I guess I am glad they have a place they feel they can just talk to the Aether. Maybe that makes me weird. I may not be riding in their car, but I'm glad they are going somewhere, if that makes any sense.

Current Affairs 08:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 21, 2005

reporting from beyond

Legendary Hunter S. Thompson commits suicide at age 67.

I really don't know what to say about this influential man who was probably the grandfather of modern blogging with his gonzo journalism. Movies based on his books and life are Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, with Johnny Depp, and Where the Buffalo Roam, with Bill Murray. He is also given homage to in Warren Ellis's Transmetropolitan.

Addendum: I forgot to mention the recent passing of Sandra Dee at the age of 62. Mostly known to younger generations from a musical number in Grease, she was a teen idol and married Bobby Darrin.

Obsessed with celebrity deaths? Moi?

Current Affairs 08:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack

February 18, 2005

knitting circles, anyone?

I have been working on knitting a scarf and after that will be moving on to Christmas stockings. I have been assured by a very knowledgeable friend that says when I have worked my way through Christmas Stockings: 18 holiday treasures to knit, edited by Elaine Lipson, that I will have had a very thorough training in the art of knitting indeed. Not to mention, gifts for some of the fringe members of my family!

All this knitting and reading got me thinking, are there any of you out there who have a North Texas knitters group going already? Or are interested in having one? I have talked with a few of my friends about it already with good responses. Lemme know whatcha think.

Knitting 02:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack